The first thing you need to know: where I come from
Second thing you need to know: where Christians come from
Shades of Gray
“ENFJs tend to define their life’s direction and priorities according to other people’s needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It’s natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people’s needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don’t sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others. ENFJ’s tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they’re likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they’re likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner, rather than as individuals. Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they’re able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they’re not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person’s need, they are highly likely to value the other person’s needs.”
Realizations
“People were sitting quietly—some reading newspapers, some lost in thought, some resting with their eyes closed. It was a calm, peaceful scene. Then suddenly, a man and his children entered the subway car. The children were so loud and rambunctious that instantly the whole climate changed. The man sat down next to me and closed his eyes, apparently oblivious to the situation. The children were yelling back and forth, throwing things, even grabbing people’s papers. It was very disturbing. And yet, the man sitting next to me did nothing. It was difficult not to feel irritated. I could not believe that he could be so insensitive as to let his children run wild like that and do nothing about it, taking no responsibility at all. It was easy to see that everyone else on the subway felt irritated, too. So finally, with what I felt was unusual patience and restraint, I turned to him and said, “Sir, your children are really disturbing a lot of people. I wonder if you couldn’t control them a little more?” The man lifted his gaze as if to come to a consciousness of the situation for the first time and said softly, “Oh, you’re right. I guess I should do something about it. We just came from the hospital where their mother died about an hour ago. I don’t know what to think, and I guess they don’t know how to handle it either.” Can you imagine what I felt at that moment? My paradigm shifted.”
8 Comments
Just a reader – spectacularly brave and well written!
Thank you, Lindsay. 🙂
You've written about this so clearly and logically, and yet with so much emotion and love… Not easy! I think you have a point, about how Christians can Bible-bash people so easily and forget that the greatest command is to love. Compassion should fuel us. And I totally agree with you on tolerance – I really disagree with the message of tolerance (yeah, watch my friend-count drop!) because I would rather love people than tolerate them. Jesus taught love, not tolerance. I can't find too much evidence of Jesus tolerating anybody, actually, only loving.
I agree with you, Erica!
I am sad and concerned to see this coming from you Ariel. First of all, biologically, we are animals. But we are separated from animals as precious in creation because we were given a soul and free will. Dogs, monkeys, and elephants are smart, but they have no concept of morality, regardless of how cute they are. Everyone is born with a propensity to sin. But they must CHOOSE to fall to sinful temptation. The Bible is very clear that sex outside of the Biblical definition of marriage is wrong. That does NOT give the Christian a right to hate anyone. Far from it. See, when we love Christ first, and people second, we EARN the right to speak the truth. And by that same token. speaking the truth tells the world (unsaved and saved) that we truly love. It's not a matter of condemning the person. It's a matter of loving someone enough to warn them of the perils of sexual immorality….. OR ANY SIN. It is NOT a matter of judging the person….. in fact, its a matter of trying to HELP a person change so they may AVOID judgement before a righteous God.
The worst thing the believer can do is to NOT speak truth to others…. be they Christian or not. As a person that was mired in sexual immorality before I married Jamie, I am GRATEFUL that I had Christian brothers that loved me enough to tell me I was committing a sin before God….but at that time, I thought they were just 'judgmental'. Unfortunately, I did NOT have a real relationship with Christ until many years later, and then fully understood the love those in the church had for me. Real love warns a person that they are running towards a disastrous fate. Ultimately, there is a battle for morality that is ongoing. This is the best sermon I have ever heard on the subject, where each of the arguments of those who advocate or practice homosexuality (and any sexual immorality) are answered with scripture. http://www.gty.org/resources/sermons/90-449/homosexuality-and-the-campaign-for-immorality?term=Homosexuality
Erick
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Erick, you completely missed the point of my post…and the last paragraph. Thanks for reading.
Well-written post with a lot of insights that I share as well.