Here’s the deal: I’m kinda freaking out. Not in a scream and pull your hair out kind of way, and not even in a biting your nails till they bleed kind of way. It’s more of an uncontrollable bouncing of my knee; like the way you feel when you are waiting for something to happen, but in my case I’m just waiting for me to DO SOMETHING.
See, I’m in this really really good place right now. Rainbows and butterflies and all that crap. I’m on a roll with the writing people. On a freaking roll. I’m completely happy with Eyes of Emerald, I’ve finished my synopsis of it (holy moly that was a mother), I have over 22K words written on Eyes of Onyx, and even 5K on Brand New Eyes. It’s a wonderful world, people. So what is the problem?
...Omg, I’m about to show weakness. Don’t do it, Ariel! Don’t do it!…
The problem is I’m nervous. True, I’ve had a lot going on in my life lately–moving from the other side of the world for one, unpacking, getting ready to start a new job, unpacking, people visiting, unpacking… But, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t using all of those things as excuses for putting off submission of my work. As long as I don’t submit, I don’t risk being turned down by every agent in the writing industry, right? Right!
I know the rejections will happen. And really, I’m okay with that. I know there’s this mammoth sized chance I will not get one agent who even wants to take the slightest chance on me. I know all of that. And that is really daunting. You have one chance after you press that send button on your email. ONE. And when you are no one, when you have nothing to show for yourself, it almost seems like a lost cause, a pipe dream.
But my focus is still solid. When you have a passion for anything, you have to remember what you are doing it for. Being an artist is a very selfish thing. You do it for yourself. So why this pressure to get published? You do it because you want to share what you’ve created. Because you think that maybe someone out there just might fall in love with the story you’ve told or be inspired by it. So, would it trigger the apocalypse if I never got one offer of representation? No. Would it be disappointing? Absolutely. But it’s part of the climb, part of the journey. I know that. I know that…I know that…I know that…
The only resolution I made for 2010 that I have yet to complete is the submission of my query to ten agents. I will do it. I will.
As I bounce my knee.
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I'm so excited for you! Even if you're kind of freaking out. 🙂
Submitting to agents is a big step, and while not sending queries would definitely keep you from getting rejections, it also wouldn't give anyone the opportunity to buy! I wish you the best of luck in getting published! And when you do, expect me at your book-signing. 😉