Well, every now and again one of my little balls of energy says something that makes me laugh so much I have to write it down just to glance back at when I am having a crappy day. So on Thursday I had one of those moments, about writing of all things. I LOVE to teach writing (imagine that) and with 2nd graders it’s so fun because they have no idea these days just how big and unexplored their imaginations are; everything is given to and created for them and they just can’t seem to prick it open easily as they used to, and I love to help them figure out how.
So anyway, we’d been working on the concept of revision, which is quite difficult for little ones to grasp. We had done a lot of practice over including details, taking out things that weren’t necessary, and either narrowing or expanding the main ideas of the stories they were writing.
So one of my little girls comes up to me very excited because she had a new idea for a story. She’s a very serious student, but so 100% girly in every way. She bounces up to me smiling, stringy hair ratty on her shoulders and a big clipboard in hand ready for business. Her girlfriend, wide blue-eyes sparkling with all forms of giddy, bounces up and down next to her waiting to reveal the premise of the genius story her friend has conjured up. Stringy haired girl speaks first through a smile so big I can’t help but smile myself. “Mrs. Eishen! I am going to write a new story! It’s going to be about a little girl who meets a little boy. Then they grow up and go to high school and get married!!!!!!!!” (And yes, all of those exclamation points are necessary.)
This is when I raise my eyebrows and nod with a smile as I’m thinking in my head, “Oh…lord”
Well, the day goes by and she finds me later, same blue-eyed cutie pie attached to her hip, and the two of them are laughing their heads off at something. It’s the kind of laughing that you do after you’ve done something stupid….so dumb you can’t help but laugh at yourself. Well, she–stringy haired girl (more tangled now that recess was over)–lands a palm on her forehead and tells me, “Mrs. Eishen, you know the story I was wanting to write? Well, I’ve changed it so that the girl and boy don’t meet when they’re little anymore, and they don’t get married in high school.” Another raise of my eyebrows. The two girls laugh again. “I mean, c’mon, how silly would it be to have the boy get down on one knee and propose in the high school!?” More giddy, I-should’ve-known-better laughing.
Ah, the wisdom of eight year olds….
Now, I remember my first crush being a boy in kindergarten named Joshua-something. Every day I waited for him to kiss me and then finally once in circle time he did. And I said, “Ew.”
He never spoke to me again. =)
I had crazy crushes on boys. I still have my diary from third grade with an entire page full of the names of boys I liked—which happened to be all of the boys in my class.
So I know it’s normal for little girls to be crazy about boys in a weird way. I remember what that was like. In one sense we wanted to throw dirt in their face when they made fun of our hair, but in another we wanted them to hold our hand when we walked home from school.
So why is that? It’s debatable.
See, when I had crushes on boys, all the way up to high school, I felt like having one like me back would validate me in some way. I felt that having no boyfriend kinda equaled being somewhat of a loser. Ugh, I loathe my high school self.
I guess I wish girls felt stronger in general, more confident maybe. And I’m wondering if that is just an innate feeling females have, or if it is learned behavior through an array of influences. Or maybe both. I mean, I was reading Seventeen Magazine when I was twelve years old and learning things like, “What Guys Really Want” and how to “Hook a Hottie” (Articles I just swiped from Seventeen.com, btw). I was being trained early to conform to what some magazine editors or television producers felt was what all guys were looking for. What happened to learning to be yourself FIRST and letting guys find that attractive? Last time I checked, guys didn’t mind a little confidence.
So how does this fit into writing you ask (or not)? A lot, actually. I guess I’m just a bit over the damsel in distress thing. Oh, i loved it when I actually FELT like that….like I was this weakling that could only be saved by the strong arms of a man. But then I realized having a great guy in my life is something I want because I love it. I love having a good man who treats me well, respects me, and just all around adores me. There’s nothing wrong with that. But there is something wrong with thinking that you aren’t strong just because you have breasts.
So, you’ll find in the stories I write that the protagonist is very strong or becomes so by the end. I want to let girls know that no matter their circumstances, they are strong enough, and special enough, to pull through. If a guy is there to help them on that journey, great, but the journey is theirs. Women are self-sacrificing, loyal to the bone, able to be strong for everyone else when they aren’t themselves, able to grow babies (I mean, c’mon…), can have a nature so loving and sweet and yet turn around and be as vicious and protective as lions over those they love. We have so many beautiful facets that I wish more young girls could see.
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